It’s a been a long time since I last wrote on this blog—a long time indeed. And I have to admit that I do miss it a lot; hopefully in the near future I will be able to dedicate much more time to putting my thoughts online.
All Christians go through an ebb and flow of spiritual vibrancy. Sometimes one feels as though one is flying up high in great communion and fellowship with the Lord. Then there are those times when God feels distant and nowhere present. The sad reality is that we, as humans, are vacillating, hesitant, and unsure. In short, we are prone to not be the same person that we were yesterday; either from changing internal or external circumstances.
But thankfully we serve and worship a God who is unchanging: “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Heb. 13:8). In the Old Testament prophet, Malachi, we find that God is dealing with His people, Israel, and with indictments that God is somehow unfair and unjust. God boils down the reason for His mercy shown on Israel due to his unchangeableness: “For I, the LORD, do not change; therefore you, O sons of Jacob, are not consumed” (Mal. 3:6).
We change, but not God. We are prone to be swept by our, sometimes, overpowering emotions (whether good or bad) but yet God is fixed and always does what pleases Him.
Recently, as I’ve been examining my heart and my passion for God, I’ve been noticing that things have not been as they have. A certain apathy and lethargy has blinded my view of God and consequently, my desire to be with Him. I’ve immediately thought to myself that I need to get more disciplined; discipline must be the key. And while discipline is a crucial issue, it is not the most important. Through one my good mentor’s advice, I’ve been learning that the key to unlock a consistent and passionate pursuit of God is a matter of love, not discipline.
In the last few years I’ve become an organized maniac who seems to have everything planned (hour-by-hour) at least two weeks in advance. You walk in my room and you’d find my books dewey-decimal’d (I just just made up a verb!) and you’ll find everything neatly arranged. Of course, compared to my good ol’ college dorm-mates, it’s a good thing. Discipline is a good thing; a good thing which many people sadly lack and don’t care for cultivating. Yet the rubber meets the road when I attempt to apply my zeal for discipline to my zeal for God. “If I can just get more organized,” I reason, “I’d glorify God and have more time for Him.” Granted, discipline does play a pivotal and important role in living a life for the glory of God, but as I’ve been made aware of recently, I need to cultivate love first and foremost.
The question that I need to ask myself is, “Do I really love God?” Am I cultivating a real sense of gratitude and passion for Him based on fiery love or mere dry duty? It is so easy to get caught up in doing what we always do, that we become a lot like the Pharisees whom Jesus detested and abhorred for their routinely, lifeless religiosity. I pray to God that we would be awakened, by His Spirit, to love Him more and more; to be filled with a biblical view of sin and an overwhelming view of His grace poured on us–wicked and vile sinners–deserving everything but love, grace, and mercy.
“We love, because He first loved us.”
– 1 John 4:19